Sunday, December 15, 2013


I meet Betty Bowers for lunch at Taco John's in Des Moines.

Betty is 'America's Best Christian' and she is keen to talk about the greatest conspiracy of all - the conspiracy to promote bisexuality and homosexuality.

"I can put you straight," says Betty, "Praise the Lord!"

Baptist Betty begins tucking in to her hard-shell taco, made with a prefabricated shell.

"You know," says Betty "Even my pussy has become bisexual.

"The people promoting the gay agenda are putting strange things in cat food.

"And you know, my neighbour's son was recently seen wearing a pink shirt.

"And his parents named him Dick."

I ask Betty about her heroes who are battling the gay agenda.

"Robert Mugabe was a hero, says Betty, until a member of parliament revealed that Mugabe had had numerous gay affairs.

"Roy Cohn was a hero, until I discovered that he was gay.

"I like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who said that there were no gay people in his country.

"I'm a fan of Joseph Ratzinger who said that homosexuality is evil.

"And of course I love Pat Robertson who says these natural disasters are caused by gay people."

I asked Betty if all these people were part of an elite agenda to stir up division and hatred; just like the CIA agenda to make Moslems look bad.

"No," said Betty, "You can't possibly think that Roy Cohn or Pat Robertson could have anything to do with the CIA."

And who are Betty's heroines?

She has a long list, from Lindsay Lohan to Jodie Foster


Paul said...

I just yesterday remembered that I hadn't looked up Betty Bowers for about four years, and had a quick run through some of her old Youtube clips. Just one day later here you are..

shirlz007 said...

aaaaah! Your taking the piss when it comes to 'Lunch with the FT' :D ... I didn't know last time when it was a 'former head of The Mossad'... I thought you where being serious!

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