Tuesday, January 22, 2013

HOW CHILDREN SUCCEED; RAISING GIRLS


Photo by Bert Hardy

Why does one child succeed in life, and another one 'fail'?

In How Children Succeed, Paul Tough writes that what matters most is character skills.

These are skills such as self confidence, optimism, perseverance, curiosity, conscientiousness, and self-control.

In other words, emotional intelligence, as taught by good parents, good mentors and good private schools, is what matters.



Both rich children and poor children can lack emotional intelligence.

"Suniya Luthar, a psychologist at Columbia University found significant psychological problems at the high end of the income spectrum... These problems arise most often in those high-income homes where children feel simultaneously a great pressure to achieve and an emotional distance from their parents..."

'How Children Succeed' — Q&A with Paul Tough


Bill Brandt

"Apparently medical reasons explain why children who grow up in abusive or dysfunctional environments generally find it harder to concentrate, sit still and rebound from disappointments. 

"The part of the brain most affected by early stress is the prefrontal cortex, which is critical for regulating thoughts and mediating behaviour. 

"When this region is damaged - a common condition for children living amid the pressures of poverty - it is tougher to suppress unproductive instincts."

School reform: Stay focused | The Economist


Website for this image...

Children who do not have good parents need good mentors and tutors, according to Paul Tough.

"Studies show that early nurturing from parents or caregivers helps combat the biochemical effects of stress. 

"And educators can push better habits and self control. 

"The 'prefrontal cortex is more responsive to intervention than other parts of the brain,' writes Mr Tough. 

"It stays malleable well into early adulthood. 

"Character can be taught."

School reform: Stay focused | The Economist



The problem is - how does a child from a problem family find a good mentor?

The best mentors are often grandparents.



"The distress of young girls is clearly visible in the rising rates of mental health problems, binge drinking, eating disorders and the rampant growth of bullying..."

www.theage.com.

Form Room
By theirhistory

Psychologist Steve Biddulph has written "Raising Girls".

He argues that "our daughters are facing an unprecedented crisis".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article



According to Steve Biddulph:

Prostitutes are not happy.

"Why?

"Because ordinary 17-year-old girls are dressing just like prostitutes."

Ready for church at 4690 E White Fresno circa 1956
Ready for church. By Lance & Cromwell

Children are being heavily sexualised.

This means some "girls having sex with numerous boys while still at school - not because they want to, but because they feel that they should."

Thirty years ago, 4% of girls aged 17 and under had sex with three or more boys.

Today, the figure is 20%.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article

The 1940s-1942 catalogue

"About ten years ago... we began to see a sudden and marked plunge in girls’ mental health.

"Problems such as eating disorders, binge drinking and self-harm were soon to be found in every classroom....

"As a child psychologist, I see the signs that are familiar to every parent:

"The eight-year-olds who are already worried about their figures; 

"The ‘too-sexy too-soon’ 12-year-olds who won’t go out without make-up

"The magazines aimed at 10 to14-year-olds that discuss oral sex..."

Foto Parade Magazine Marilyn Monroe

"Never before has girlhood been under such a sustained assault - from ads, alcohol marketing, girls’ magazines, sexually explicit TV programmes and the hard pornography that’s regularly accessed in so many teenagers’ bedrooms."

The results:

Girls in mental hospitals.

Girls in police stations.

Girls with sexualy transmitted diseases.

Girls with mouth and throat cancers.

July 1937, True Story Magazine

In a recent survey, 53% of girls under 13 reported that they had watched or seen porn.

By the age of 16, that figure was 97%.

"A multi-billion-pound industry - larger than sport, larger than Hollywood - now exists to sell porn, and young people are its main target.

"Facebook is plastered with porn.

"So is Google Images...


Google is the world's largest promoter of porn, including child porn.

"The current generation of girls is also the first to grow up seeing images of sexual violence before they’ve had sex...

"Even 10-year-old children are now sending sexual images of themselves on their phones."

Website for this image...

Psychologist Deborah Tolman discovered that "the way girls talk about sex is overwhelmingly negative.

"Their sexual encounters were most often described in weak and passive terms.

"‘It just happened,’ was a frequent remark...


Google searches for the phrases "God" and "free gay porn ... - Mlkshk...

"This is not to say that teenagers don’t experience desire.

"Left to themselves, sexual feelings develop slowly...

In general, girls "go from barely tolerating boys in their pre-teens, to finding them interesting but annoying in the mid-teens, to gradually discovering one or two boys they can relate to after that.

"In our own youth, sexual relationships tended to develop cautiously at first. Young love was all about exploration and the gradual growth of intimacy and trust.

"This should be one of the sweetest times of life, when you feel intensely alive and the world seems a wonderful place..."

Raising Girls by Steve Biddulph

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article



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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2266452/Paedophile-jailed-confessing-abuse-15-year-old-girl-autobiography-called-The-Loves-And-Heartaches-Of-My-Life.html

Anonymous said...

i think there is a diference between normal sex and some of the stuff being promoted now, my next door neighbour is a teacher in east london and she said they are teaching girls that if they dont want intercourse to give oral sex, her class is 13 year olds, they also get taught about homosexual poofery which we felt was wrong.

 
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